Well, I just wanted to write a bit about my past month or so. It has been filled with a lot of ups and downs, and a lot of emotions if Im honest. 
I have took a step back from a lot of things, and looked at my life from a different perspective, and come to realise, that trust is becoming very hard to find in people. Trust and honesty go hand in hand in friendship, and relationships. without both, it wont work in my opinion. 
Both these are needed for people to enjoy life, and each other. 
I have been let down massively, and hurt by someone who I thought would never do that, and its made me realise that no matter how old you are, what your circumstances are, people can still make you look like a fool, and really mess with your head and heart. 
I was always under the impression that the older you became, the more life experiences you had, and the more respect, honesty and trust you should have in people. I was wrong, and proved that even people older then me can treat you extremely badly, and have zero care for your feelings. 

This has made thing very difficult for me in many ways. How can someone come into your life, make you feel so happy, show you a side to them which makes you feel comfortable, and then... let it all go? I cant understand how over night someone can change their mind and forget anything ever happened. 

The other thing is, how can I move on from this. What have i learnt, and how will this all affect my future. Well, I can safely say that all my feelings and emotions are gonna be hidden away behind a massive wall from now on! That goes without saying. I will not allow anyone past that wall until I can reach a certain level of trust with them. 
I'm seriously sick of being treated like an idiot, and I always come out with the messed up feelings! 

Is happiness seriously that hard to find?

Well, haven't updated this for a very long time, so thought I may as well get on here and explain a lot of changes that have been happening in my life. 
Firstly, I went to Edition38, and wow, it never fails to amaze me how great that show is! Enjoyed every second of it, and also managed to get the cabby how I wanted it before I went. It seemed to get liked, and only got slightly abused by a bunch of southerners. Which is good.
I wanted to change things a bit, and wanted something different, something with a bit of power, so i decided to sell up and get a cheap, fastish car. I went back french! 

Well the time has come for me to leave the VAG scene for good! 
Which I'm actually quite glad about. Dont get me wrong.. I love the cars, and the style, and many of my friends, I've met through the scene.
But there are so many bad points to it. The judgement you get for trying to be creative and expressing yourself through your car is crazy.
If you dont stick to what the scene expect of you, then you may as well jump off a bridge. 
Cant be bothered with that now, so I'd rather get a fun little car to drive, a B road car. 
I'm currently bidding on a little Clio 172 in flame red. I'm actually really hoping I win! The price is right for the age, and the mileage is very low! a genuine 68k, all belts have been done, with receipted to prove. 
Fingers crossed that I win, in approx 2 hours!! 

Well.. after a long hard thing, I've come to the conclusion that the best bet is to strip the Audi for parts! So thats exactly what I've done.
I spent the full weekend getting the car down to a bare shell, ready to be weighed in. 
The only things left were the windows, wiring and some daft little things which weren't worth much money.
The shell has now gone and the garage is full of Audi parts. Now its time to try and sell it all. Thats the fun bit!
So far, I've made a fair bit of money back on it, I've managed to sell quite alot of big parts, which has got me enough money back to pay off my overdraft and credit card! Which I'm pretty happy about to be honest. 

So.. Who is going? 
Even with the lack of money, I will definitely be attending! £30 for a full weekend of drinking, camping and laughing... worth every penny!
Overdraft is gone in less then a week. I'm owed nearly £200 still from various people, so hopefully I'll get all that soon. 
If not, theres always the credit car as a temp solution ;) 
I honestly cant wait for this! Travel down on the Friday, get camping sorted, and then its time to start drinking! 

Brings back memories from the previous years that I've been.. 

Well, not that I have anything planned.. but 4 days of relaxing will do me fine! 

Well, with less then 4 hours to go now, I'm getting very nervous! I have had more offers yes... but still no one has bidded! 

Well, not long left until the car hopefully goes! 
I currently have 102 watchers on ebay, which may just be a load of mates, waiting for it not to sell! 
I have had some crazy offers, the most recent, is a Vectra!
Someone came around to view the car, and is very interested. But they currently have their car on ebay, and its set to end after mine. Hopefully for them, no one will bid, and they can have the Audi. We'll just have to see. 
I've already been looking around for a replacement car, something small and fun, and I'm desperate for a Clio 172/182. I think they looking really nice standard, and should do me a couple of years.

Well, i couldn't think of a more imaginative title for this update. I suppose I want to write down my current situation somewhere, so that I can look back and think... 'wow, I'm actually getting somewhere now' .

Firstly, and financially, I've managed to reduce my overdraft by £200! so in two months time it wont even exist! Which will make a massive difference, as last month I get charged £120 for going into it... wow, its a lot of money to lose in a month :( So will make a huge difference once its gone. I paid off more of my credit card, paid for my car tax (£75) and also paid the car off! so I don't owe money to any family or friends anymore. I have also stopped using these stupid short term loans. Its a habit I got into when, a very bad one. And like my smoking habit, its over. Something I will never turn back to . Straight and narrow now, and paying my own way. 

No one understands the significance of this mug to me. 
When I first started my job at HBS in Middlesbrough, I was scared that I wouldn't fit in. 
I found it really hard to speak to the people I worked with, and to be honest, wanted to leave before I'd properly started there. It was my first job, and I didn't know what to expect.